As I alluded to last week, I've been using Google Analytics over the last couple of months to basically see if there's anyone out there with discerning enough taste to be reading the drivel I bash out on a disturbingly regular basis. (I think that's got both the self-depreciation and the disingenuous user-flattery safely out of the way in one sentence - Self-referential Ed)
Part of me didn't want to see the cold hard numbers of just how few people read the site - like putting a webcounter up on your homepage and never seeing it get into three figures - but since Google Analytics is free and it didn't entail doing a huge amount of work to get it working (and because Google already know enough about me to be able to steal my identity if they really wanted to), I thought what the hell... and it's quite interesting, really.
I've been looking back at the keywords people have been arriving at the blog using, and given the content I post, I usually can see the logic behind how they got here. Most of the keywords are games-related, the most popular keywords specifically relating to either DEFCON or World of Warcraft. A few are picking up on my recent DIY woes with shower pumps and water isolating valves, which is also fairly logical. Some are even verging on the tragic, such as "g15 macro angst": I know I'm a fairly angsty person myself, but gaming keyboard macros aren't really high up on my angst list... Others are just so plain bizarre I can't even divine how a keyword search would bring back my blog, such as: "what's the difference a hoggy and submarine". Umm, I have no idea. And why would you even want to know?
A few are amusing, like: "windows media player shuffle is shit" - I couldn't agree more. However, others are just plain disturbing. So disturbing I don't even want to know why they searched for it in the first place. Examples of which being: "bastard fittings" (what the fuck is that? being measured up for a specially tailored bastard suit?), "predator ii don't give a shit" (uhhh, double-WTF?), "fake kiddie" (ewwwwwwww! I *really* don't want to know), "richard cobbett" (just kidding, Rich! just kidding!), and finally, I have a special message for the person who searched on "twi'lek breasts cock" - YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.