Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Bark: Dodging the silver bullet

Do you ever feel that random chance has it in for you? I've narrowly avoided three road traffic accidents in the last three days, all within the space of half a mile from each other. I've not had a car accident in over six years now, and it's almost as if it has been decided somewhere that it's my time to have another one.

My girlfriend can't drive, so I get to act as her chauffeur, dropping her off to work in the morning, and picking her up in the evening quite often as well. The kicker here is that my girlfriend is a teacher, and all the three nearly-accidents of the last three days have happened within a stone's throw of the school she works at. The first one on Monday was when I was turning into the road her school is on, and some bumberclut on the other side of the road decides that it's a good idea to start REVERSING ACROSS THE T-JUNCTION AS I'M TRYING TO TURN RIGHT INTO IT. And this is a main road. At rush hour. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE MORON THINKING?

I pick Fleur up and drive home, putting it out of my mind as random happenstance.

The next day, I've just dropped Fleur off and I'm driving down one of the local rat runs down the back of Camberley to pick up the main road at a quieter spot. Within a minute of leaving the school, no more than 400 yards from it, I'm pulling out to move around a parked car when a white, old-style Rover Mini Metro comes bombing around the blind corner in the road 100 yards aways, doing no less than 45mph (in a 30 zone, natch), meaning I've got to take evasive action to avoid him slamming head-first into my bonnet; because this 17 year old manic doesn't know what the middle pedal does.
IT'S CALLED A BRAKE. TRY USING IT SOMETIME.

I pootle off to work, trying to lower my heart rate and blood pressure, thinking it's just coincidence.

Finally, this morning, I've just dropped Fleur off at her school, and I'm checking the road in front of the school carefully before I pull out, because the road is lined by very large trees that restrict your view. I double-check again, left, then right, and I'm creeping out only to have to stamp on the brakes because the speed limit obviously doesn't apply to people driving S-Class Jaguars, as the guy racing at 40mph+ PAST A SCHOOL ENTRANCE CROWDED WITH KIDS ably demonstrates.

Three times in three days. This is clearly beyond happenstance and coincidence. Fate is out to get me, and STUPID PEOPLE IN CARS are her weapons of choice...
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