Monday, April 02, 2007

Bark: I know I like my curries hot, but incinerated was not what I had in mind...

Drinking is not big and certainly not clever. I discovered this at about 3am this morning when I woke up thinking "that's a funny smell" to find that I'd left a Sainsbury's oven cook curry in the oven. For about 5 hours. And I'd forgotten that I'd left the oven on... Not clever. Though at least I didn't wake up to find flames licking around my ankles, though that's scant consolation at this point.

So now the flat has a charming stench of stale smoke and melted plastic, despite the can of Oust I've gotten through, plus a couple of hours with the windows and front door wide open to get some fresh air into the place. Thank God my girlfriend is in France for 10 days so I can give the flat a complete airing and desmelling by the time she gets back. Of course, if she'd been at home, this never would have happened in the first place. Whenever she leaves me on my own these things seem to happen - like the time I managed to flood the bathroom because I'd left a tap running as I wanted to shave and be pristinely groomed for when she arrived back home. The road to hell is most assuredly paved with good intentions, it seems.

The moral of the story? Firstly, never let your girlfriend leave you home alone for a week because they'll have to dig out your dental records to identify the remains, and secondly, eat *BEFORE* you get stark raving drunk...
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