My girlfriend got back from France today. So impressed she was with me not trashing the flat, she told me "You're going on a diet." Thanks for waiting for all of 5 seconds after you got back after 10 days apart to tell me, sweetheart.
And then what does she do? She shows me the kilo and a half of full fat French cheese and the other kilo of Swiss chocolate she's brought back with her from France for me... Okay. I'm not even trying to figure out the logic behind that one.