Monday, July 25, 2005

Byte: Jack Thompson Needs To Get Laid

For those people who don't know who Jack Thompson is, he's an American lawyer who's waging a one man moral war against the sick filth of videogames.

After getting his knickers in a twist about the so-called "Hot Coffee" scenes in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, he's now stuck his oar into EA's Sims 2 because it's apparently "a porn offering". (Albeit, with the help of modding, in the same way San Andreas needs modding to unlock the "Hot Coffee" content).

OH MY GOD, THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE HAVING CONSENSUAL SEX IN THIS VIDEOGAME, AND THERE ARE NIPPLES! IT'S THE END OF CIVILISATION AS WE KNOW IT!

Get a fucking grip, man. Never mind the fact that in Sims 2 you can screw the maid infront of your wife and kids in the hot tub, have lesbian relationships, have children outside of marriage and one parent families - all those things that are arguably truly morally reprehensible - just focus on the flesh. America's leaning so far to the right these days that it's going to tip into the Atlantic Ocean. Well, the good news is that if these ultra-Conservatives have such a chaste attitude to nudity, none of them will ever end up having sex (and hence will not procreate), and therefore in another 50 years or so we won't have to listen to their stupid, self-serving, ignorant crap any more. Just don't tell them about IVF.

Not only are campaigns like Jack Thompson's badly informed, simplistic, completely fatuous and misleading, they also seek to clamp down on freedom of consumer choice and freedom of expression in entertainment media. I don't like being told what I can buy, and I certainly don't like the thought of games developers being told what they should be allowed to include in a game. There's nudity in Sims 2 because there's nudity in real life. My groin doesn't become obscured by pixellation every time I step out of the shower, and nor would I want it to. If some modder wants to remove the pixellation from Sims 2, why shouldn't he be able to? People will only install the mod if they want to. It's not a part of the standard product, and most players will probably not even bother installing it. It's a matter of the player's choice and even with it installed The Sims 2 is about as erotic as a cold sponge and about as shocking as a watch battery on your tongue. If The Sims 2 is Jack Thompson's idea of pornography, then he's got a very warped sense of reality, and should go out and buy a copy of Playboy. (Yes, I know Playboy's as tame as your average house cat - that's the point. People actually *do* buy Playboy for the articles, which is sick and wrong. Besides, he'd probably faint at the thought of buying Dutch Shemales Reader's Wives or something...)
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